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Finding Balance

Everyday I wake up with anticipation deep in my belly.  Our upcoming move is looming.

The girls both expressed they thought our new house was ugly.

What do you think it is ugly?  I asked.  The inside or the outside?
In unison they replied, Both!

When I was a child, my father would threaten to move on a regular basis.  I thought that my world might come to an end if he ever followed through with his threat.  He never did.   The anticipation I wake up with these days could probably be categorized as guilt.  They don’t want to move.  They are happy here.  It’s Mommy that is driving this train, but I know it’s going to be awesome or I would not be disrupting our lives with the act of moving. There is also that little voice in my head that exists only to whisper, what if it’s not awesome and you screw up everyone’s life including your own? Then my much stronger, confident inner self stomps the shit out of the little voice and we keep moving forward.  HHHmmmmm…perhaps instead of moving to a new home, I should move directly to the loony bin.

Currently, I am reading Mindful Parenting by Kristin Race, Ph.D.  I was drawn to the Colorado author simply by the fact that she was educated in the field of Child Psychology and she dumped the big city for a small town in search of a simpler life.  Reject the rat race.  I can fully relate to this philosophy.  She specializes in mindful parenting but has also made a career of helping children learn to be mindful.  One of her examples that resonates with me when talking to your children about mindfulness is that of a garden.  She writes that we have seeds in our brains of all kinds: sadness, disappointment, jealousy and discontentment.  We also have seeds of peace and happiness.  Like in any garden the seeds we pay attention to and nourish are the seeds that will flourish.

Mindful Parenting

When the girls get sad about the move and let me know they are not happy with me and turn negative because they are truly scared of literally moving out of their comfort zone, I remind them of the seeds.  If they focus on the great things about this house and all the positives it will make it a little bit easier to embrace the idea of leaving their home and creating a new one.  My own brain garden needs some nourishing so I have been practicing. I have realized something interesting.  It is way easier to focus on the negative seeds in your brain.  I think it is because the negative seeds of discontentment are good at nagging and the happy and peaceful seeds sit quietly and wait to be nourished.  It is an interesting experiment.  I am hoping to practice hard enough so that I can all but kill off the negative, bad seeds and the happy seeds will multiply and grow.

Liam is not ready for the brain garden analogy yet so we have been practicing finding balance this week.  He all of the sudden got the hang of his skoot bike and is now training for our local spring bike race series.  You think I am kidding, but I am not.  I believe my little man is ready for pedals!

Liam finding balance. from Kathleen Tremblay on Vimeo.